I SHALL CONFESS

I come to truth and light to speak the unspoken
Wearing nothing more than the circumstances that existed 
Beyond that, completely naked

With no witness to testify in favor or alibi that could protect me

I shall confess that I am, foremost, a liar
That I fooled myself by saying I didn’t know the events
Expecting everyone to believe that such events
Had been, if at all, long ago forgotten or consumed by fire
But that they had been perpetuated, with no details acknowledged,

By the Enemy itself

I shall confess that it was I who kidnapped Childhood
For it was so tender that I couldn’t resist to set it free
And though I thought it was an act to cherish and for good

Now I see that nothing have I gained with not having let it be

The child tried to escape its sudden apprehension
And I hunted dreams in the woods to keep him entertained
Soon I became amazed with the colors of the fairytales

And didn’t notice when the child didn’t wake up the following day

I shall confess I played with his lifeless body
Thinking, that sometime and somehow, he would dare to join again
I shall confess I stepped on his toy car and slept on his bed

And soon I substituted whom I had long seen depart to never return again

I shall confess I stole uncountable hours from the bank of life
And acted, during investigations, as if my account was empty
I thought I had invested all that treasure on the mines of Self-indulgence

Turned out I wasted it on the shallow mines of Comfort and lost it all with negligence

I shall confess that I began a partnership with Faith
Without being aware that I was signing in to be a slave
I shall confess that external sayings and ideas became my masters

And I never questioned far beyond to avoid further disasters

I shall confess I made an oath to deliver my energy to Anguish 
I changed my address near Negative Height to save in fees of transportation
I shall confess I lost my way, my time, my energy and myself

I learned to cope with misery, and to pamper it, I am afraid

I shall confess I lost the handkerchief where I had once written my name
I used it to wipe the tears that left all those misfortunate comments
I shall confess I hired guards to save my back from omens

But they left when they could not see the dangers I pointed, in the air, by name

I shall confess I misread, at some point, what my mission on Earth was
And I mistook it for abandoning myself to others
The strength, I once had, is now a remembrance of the times before war

A war of self-betrayal and self-misconception, among others

I shall confess that I let myself believe and fall into the abysm
I shall confess that I preferred to cry out for help to emerge, instead of trying
I shall confess that I still do not know how to live after the cataclysm

And most of all that I am the one and only responsible for not having tried it

I come to truth and light to speak the unspoken
Wearing nothing more than the decisions that were chosen
Both good and bad elections were made during the journey

And I thought, that for every mistake, no pardon could be worthy

I shall confess, at last, that I had no courage to assume my own power
Doubting how to use it and manage it for my own gain
Now, still confused, I continue the path I once desired
Hoping not to err again, but willing to accept it, for now I am not afraid

It was a point in my life where I had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions and I was deep into reflection. I indicted myself on a psychological trial, exposing and accepting my mistakes to be able to move forward. As it is evident… I confessed.

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